Love In A Colder Climate – Part 1

    Anyone reading this confession in 1989, the year I was born, would have been amazed to find me complaining about a state of affairs that must in every respect have resembled paradise. However, yesterday’s heaven all too easily becomes today’s hell. The greatest voluptuary dream of mankind, which has lifted the spirits of poets and painters, presidents and peasants, has turned only twenty-two years later into a living nightmare. For young men of my own generation (the world provokes a shudder in the heart, if nowhere else), the situation has become so desperate that any escape seems justified. The price that I have paid for my freedom may seem excessive, but I am happy to have made this savage, if curious, bargain.

 

    Soon after I reached my twenty-first birthday I was ordered to enlist for my two years of national service, and I remember thinking how much my father and grandfather would have envied me. On a pleasant summer evening in 2010, after a tiring day at the medical school, I was ringing the doorbell of an apartment owned by an attractive young woman whose name I had been given. I had never met her, but I was confident that she would greet me in the friendliest way – so friendly that within a few minutes we would be lying naked together in bed. Needless to say, no money would change hands, and neither she nor I would play our parts for less than the most patriotic motives. Yet both of us would loathe the touch of the other and would be only too relieved when we parted an hour later.

 

    Sure enough, the door opened to reveal a confident young brunette with a welcoming, if brave, smile. According to my assignment card, she was Victoria Hale, a financial journalist on a weekly news magazine. Her eyes glanced at my face and costume in the shrewd way she might have scanned a worthy but dull company prospectus.

 

    “David Bradley?” She read my name from her own assignment card, trying to muster a show of enthusiasm. “You’re a medical student… How fascinating.”

 

    “It’s wonderful to meet you, Victoria,” I riposted. “I’ve always wanted to know about… financial journalism.”

  

    I stood awkwardly in the centre of her apartment, my legs turning to lead. These lines of dialogue, like those that followed, had seemed preposterous when I first uttered them. But my supervisor had wisely insisted that I stick to the script, and already, after only three months of national service, I was aware that the formalized dialogue, like our absurd costumes, provided a screen behind which we could hide our real feelings.

 

    I was wearing the standard-issue Prince Valiant suit, which a careful survey of the TV programs of the 1960s had confirmed to be the most sexually attractive costumes of the predatory male. In a suit like this Elvis Presley roused the Last Vegas matrons to an ecstasy of abandon, though I found its tassels, gold braid and tight crotch as comfortable as the decorations on a Christmas tree.

 

   Victoria Hale, for her part, was wearing a classic Playboy bunny outfit of the same period. As she served me a minute measures of vodka her breasts managed to be both concealed and exposed in a way that an earlier generation must have found irresistibly fascinating, like the rabbit tail that bounced above her contorted buttocks, a furry metronome which already had me glancing at my wristwatch.

 

    “Mr. Bradley, we can get it over with now,” she remarked briskly. She had departed from the script but quickly added: “Now tell me about work, David. I can see that you’re an interesting man.”

 

     She was as bored with me as I was uneasy with her, but in a few minutes we would be lying together in bed. With luck my hormonal and nervous systems would come to my rescue and bring our meeting to a climax. We would initial each other’s assignment cards and make a thankful return to our original lives. Yet the very next meeting another young man in a Prince Valiant suit would ring the doorbell of the apartment, and this thoughtful journalist would greet him in her grotesque costume. And I, in turn, at eight o’clock would put aside my anatomy textbooks and set out through the weary streets to an arranged meeting in an unknown apartment, where some pleasant young woman – student, waitress or librarian – would welcome me with the same formal smile and stoically take me to bed…. 

to be continued.